Teach Your Children Well

I was giving a training this morning to a group of folks who work directly with homeschooling families. It was about 20 ladies who interact with families regarding academic issues, curriculum questions, special needs, accommodations, etc., and my job was to give them a plan for triaging mental health issues and creating a referral. As I began talking about what might be key statements to look for, I asked the participants if there were any things they commonly heard as concerns and one of them said she hears: “My child just wants to finish school and move out.” Gut reaction? Great! But seriously, this end of the spectrum and the other (sometimes called a “failure to launch”) are generally a response to one thing—overbearing parents.

So another participant very humbly said— “Actually, I’m struggling with that right now with my own kids. How do you help a family dealing with that?” I won’t tell you everything I said, but here is the rough sketch: 1. Let them fail at things, 2. The right questions are more important than the right answers (yes, even when it comes to their faith), 3. Kids are people, you can’t take their choices personally.

How about a poem:

Well I Was Always Told
Where did you learn that, I asked
Well that's what I was always told
So do you believe that's really true
Well they must be wise, they're old
So how do you live that out, I asked
In the way you function day-to-day
Well I was always told . . .
I'm mean, at least, that's what they say
Right, but when things get hard, I asked
Well, I don't really know, I guess

Kids learn a lot from questions
From answers they learn . . .less

Almighty God, help us not to fear questions as the purview of Satan, who asked “Did God really say…?” But rather as the gentleness of a loving parent “Adam, where are you? Who told you you were naked?” Help us to ask good questions. Amen.